THE 58TH ANNUAL EMMY AWARDS - Whateverrr!

It's been a long time since I've watched the pre-eminent awards ceremony for the best in television. I don't usually make an effort to catch it, because if you think the Oscars never get it right, the Emmys are worse - much worse; so much so that they're a joke. There's just no denying this when, for example, you consider the fact that one of the most overrated shows in TV history, Frasier, won best comedy series 5 years in a row - a travesty of unfathomable proportions, especially since this occurred during the glorious peak run of far more brilliant shows like The Simpsons and Seinfeld.

But I digress. Through the magic of timeshifting, I did manage to catch the awards ceremony, but I did so not being nearly prepared as I am when I watch the Oscars. And although the experience was somewhat underwhelming, someone said something that I felt I had to comment on. One of last night's winners declared this to be a new golden age in television - one that should be enjoyed.

Although it's clear that television is enjoying a bit of an up swing, I'm not sure I would characterize this period as golden. To me, the true golden age of television was the 90's where you had 3 of the top 10 shows of all time at their best: The Simpsons, The X-Files and Seinfeld. It's true that television drama and reality television are enjoying a kind of appeal and prestige rarely seen in the medium's history, but it was during the 90's that the TV industry truly rivaled the movie industry in terms of quality entertainment. The X-Files alone, for a large part, were better written and directed than almost any drama coming out of the movie industry at the time. And no big screen comedy could come anywhere close to the genius of The Simpsons.

I admit that I'm a bit of a late comer to the reality TV craze, but television drama still bores me to tears. CSI, Boston Legal, Law & Order, Grey's Anatomy - I can't get into any of them. But honestly, are there no other professions in the world other than forensic scientists, police officers, lawyers and doctors. Haven't these professions been done to death! A new golden age in television - I don't think so.

The awards ceremony itself was mildly entertaining although it doesn't carry the same weight for me as the Oscars. Nevertheless, here are some of the high points:

• Conan O'Brien's opening sequence including monologue and dance number. Maybe a little too reminiscent of Billy Crystal's usual Oscar prologue antics, but still very funny and clever stuff.
• Megan Mullally's win for best supporting actress in a comedy series. I don't really watch Will and Grace regularly, but I've seen enough of it to know that her characterization of Karen is nothing less than brilliant.
• Cloris Leachman's win for guest actor in a comedy series, playing Malcolm's extremely dysfunctional grandmother in Malcolm in the Middle. Although she was awarded the statuette at an earlier ceremony, it was very satisfying to find out she was acknowledged for creating one of the most memorable guest characters in the history of television.
• The surprise appearance of Bob Newhart in a glass container as Conan explained that the comedy legend would run out of air and die if the broadcast exceeded its scheduled three hours. And then later, when Newhart resurfaced during the ceremony as a presenter, Conan continuing the gag by claiming that 52% of people who phoned in wanted to see Newhart live.
• Greg Garcia's acceptance speech. Garcia, who I've never heard of and who won in the writing category for penning the pilot of My Name is Earl, began his acceptance speech by listing people he did not want to thank - hilarious. By the way, the worse speech of the night was by Barry Manilow, who's terrible acting didn't persuade me that he was truly as surprised as he claimed about winning the Emmy, especially since, as he's saying so, he pulls out a list of thank yous from his jacket pocket. But the the worse part was him saying that the statuette would be his good luck charm in the operating room the following morning - very tacky.
• The tribute to Aaron Spelling - it wasn't nearly as cheesy and embarrassing as I expected.
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus' win for lead actress in a comedy series. True, I haven't seen a single episode of The New Adventures of Old Christine, but I think this makes up for all the times she didn't bring home an Emmy for her scene-stealing portrayal of Elaine on Seinfeld. Incidentally, one of Emmys' truly unforgivable sins is the fact that Jason Alexander never won an Emmy for his brilliant characterization of George on the groundbreaking series.
• Bryan Cranston's nomination for supporting actor in a comedy series for his characterization of Malcolm's father on Malcolm in the Middle. Although Jane Kazmarek, who plays the mother, has been nominated in the past, I'm not sure if Cranston ever was. Whatever the case may be, I was thrilled to see his amazing work on the grossly underrated series acknowledged - even if only with a nomination.
• Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's comedy stint before presenting the Emmy for outstanding reality series. Colbert criticized the audience for being godless sodomites and then anguished over the fact that he lost out to Barry Manilow. By the way, I'm extremely disappointed, but not surprised, that my current favourite reality show, Elimidate wasn't even nominated. True, it's completely trashy and low brow, but brilliantly so.
• And finally, although I don't know anything about fashion and although I care even less about the subject; and although I hate all the attention it gets, especially whenever there's discussion about award ceremonies, I can't help commenting on the fact that Candice Bergen was by far the worst dressed. It may be because it brought back traumatic flashbacks of Murphy Brown, a show I truly detested; but whatever the reason, it didn't look good. This wasn't necessarily one of the highs, but I thought it was worth mentioning.