ELIZABETHTOWN - A Bullet Point Review

On August 8 of this year I had a root canal that lasted for one hour and 45 minutes. That experience was less painful and more interesting than watching Elizabethtown. Why?

* Orlando Bloom cannot carry a movie.
* Kirsten Dunst has the same expression on her face throughout the entire film.
* They have no chemistry whatsoever.
* It sets a record for the most musical interludes during a NON-musical feature.
* They try to use music to compensate for the lack of plot and story. But music can only complement a story, not supplement one.
* The sub-plots are pointless distractions that go nowhere.
* The ending is far too long and stupid.
* Besides a laugh or two here and there, the one saving grace is a scene with Susan Sarandon on stage at a funeral reception - but that's about it.

On the Rickter-Scale this movie scores a 4 out of 10.

THE RICKTER-SCALE:
10 (A+) – extraordinary, a masterpiece
9.5/9.0 (A) – exceptional, a milestone
8.5/8.0 (A-) – excellent, a classic
7.5/7.0 (B+) – very good, a near classic
6.5/6.0 (B) – good
5.5/5.0 (B-) – fair
4.5/4.0 (C+) – poor
3.5/3.0 (C) – very poor, a near disaster
2.5/2.0 (C-) – terrible, a total disaster
1.5/1.0 (D+) – torture, a catastrophe
0.5/0.0 (F) – abysmal, the end of film as an artform